Bamendankwe marriage proceedings (rights and duties)

marriage cartoon
This article highlights the main events that must take place in order for a man to affirm that he is married to a Bamendankwe woman. These include the various visits to the woman's family, the items to take along, the personalities that must be present or represented, the rights that have to be performed.
When a young man finds his missing rib in Bamendankwe, it becomes mandatory for him to go through the
right procedures that would lead to eventual marriage with the woman. Below are the steps involved.

  • Tell your family about your wife to be

Whether she was your girl friend or fiancée you certainly need to make it known to your family that you want to make her the woman of your life. Essentially you just need to tell your parents or guardians. This exercise is not only a sign of maturity but it is a way of preparing your parents minds towards your marriage. They would either approve or disapprove your choice. Your parents decisions could be based on the woman's family traits or one of many other cri

Take your mother to the girl's family
The next thing to do is for you and your mother to go to the girl's family. You may take along some gifts if you want to but it is not really time for it yet. Your
mother's visit is to make known your marriage intentions to the girls family. Again the family could approve or disapprove the marriage proposal.

  • Take palm wine to the girl's family

Now you have to take palm wine to the girl's family. Even if either families disapproved the marriage, for some selfish interests, you could still headily take five litters of palm wine to the girl's family. If they insist that they do not want the marriage the palm wine will still be drank there at the girl's family and then latter on they will refund the five litters of palm wine to the man who wanted their daughter's hand in marriage. On the other hand if the girl's is comfortable with the marriage proposal then the two families will happily drink the palm wine with you (of course in a traditional manner).

That was just the introduction of the marriage!

  • Yet another visit to the girl's family

This time around you are to visit the family in order to know what items you have to bring or what amount
of money you have to pay as bride price. The money or items the girl's parents are receiving have to be
shared with the girls extended family. It is normal for the girls family to instead send you to these members of the extended family as well as they could decide to help you take care of that. The kind of items asked varies across families so there is no need to list them here.

  • The marriage proper

After the visiting phase is completed successfully, the most eventful and excited phase comes in. Family members friend and other relations take part in this phase for it is mainly feasting and celebration.

To be continued...

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